Viagra for Sale?

If you're shopping for Viagra, be sure to look for a sign that explicitly says, “Viagra for Sale,” and if there isn't one, be careful, because not every little blue pill will cure your erectile dysfunction. True story: an Austrian food manufacturer was charged and lost a court battle with Pfizer, makers of the popular erectile dysfunction pill, Viagra. Why, you ask? Well, it seems as though the food maker's flagship product, delicious blue sugar-coated pumpkin seeds, looked a little too much like Viagra pills, and that made Pfizer nervous. Could someone actually mistake sugar-coated pumpkin seeds for Viagra? I suppose anything's possible, and if it did happen, the consequences would be...well, rather disappointing. With Viagra for sale nowadays at such low prices, there's no need to deliberately turn to folksier remedies like pumpkin seeds to cure your erectile dysfunction. Thus, inspired by this recent court case, and with the reader's best interest in mind, I've compiled a list of the top 5 things (besides pumpkin seeds) you wouldn't want to mistake for Viagra pills on a romantic evening. You might be inspired to reorganize your medicine cabinet to avoid any embarrassing mistakes.

5. Throat Lozenges
Throat lozenges come in all sorts of colors, including, unfortunately, the color blue, which would prove to be confusing in some situations. While these pills will cure that tickle in your throat, they won't do a thing to cure your erectile dysfunction, unless of course your erectile dysfunction is caused by your own incessant hacking cough. It doesn't seem too unlikely a scenario to me. If this is the case, good for you for discovering your cure!

4. Breath Mints
Often manufactured in shades of blue to denote their cool, icy-fresh taste, these little pill-shaped candies could easily be mistaken for Viagra. While having fresh breath in a romantic situation is undoubtedly a positive thing, I assure you that it will have no direct effect on your erectile dysfunction, besides maybe a placebo effect if you're lucky.



3. Sleeping Pills
Sometimes, sleeping pills can be mistaken for Viagra. For sale at common drug stores, these handy little pills elicit just about the opposite effect you would want from Viagra. Rather than arousing you, they'll put you right to sleep. If you're fumbling around in your medicine cabinet or bedside table in the dark and you accidentally pick these out and pop a couple back, your spouse will be greeted with an unwelcome surprise. Rather than a ready and willing lovemaking partner, they'll encounter a snoring Rip Van Winkle. Trust me, this sort of mishap can't be good for your relationship.

2. Laxatives
This one is pretty self-explanatory, I think. Rather than the desired arousing effects of Viagra, you will end up with aroused bowels. I don't think I need to get into detail about why this would be a bad thing.

1. Hallucinogenic Drugs
If you're unlucky enough to have your hippie or raver cousin (whom you let crash at your place one weekend out of familial goodwill) accidentally leave their little blue pills with pictures of little teddy bears on them on your bedside table, I don't envy you. If you swallow a couple of these little babies thinking they're Viagra, boy will you be in for a surprise. If you're lucky, your spouse will be understanding the next morning when you explain that you kicked her out of your bed the night before because you thought she was a vicious dinosaur sent through time to kill you.

Top 5 Worst Places to Buy Viagra Online

There is an overabundance of places to buy Viagra online. Some people are obsessed with finding the best, most reliable, and trust-worthy source for theirs, whereas others are simply concerned with trying to find the cheapest place to buy Viagra online. The widespread pursuit of the best and cheapest pills has become so huge, that it seems like almost every website out there has gotten into the Viagra market, and claim to be the web's ultimate source. In these tough economic times, it's one of the few reliable markets out there, so virtually everyone is selling Viagra, even if it's just on the side. We regret to inform you that many of these sites should not be trusted. You might be wondering, “With all the websites now jumping on the Viagra bandwagon, how do I know who I can trust?” Luckily we have the answers for you. We've compiled a list of 5 websites in particular that you absolutely should not trust to sell you Viagra.

Where Not to Buy Viagra 5: WallMart Online

While they claim to be the absolute cheapest place to buy Viagra online, we would advise you not to buy your Viagra at Walmart. The prices of their products may be extremely tempting, but by supporting them you threaten to put many Mom and Pop Viagra shops out of business.

Where Not to Buy Viagra 4: C.I.A. Website

Like we said, virtually everyone and their dog is getting into the generic Viagra business. In these tough economic times, even agencies of the United States Government are looking for alternative fund-raising methods. Though the Central Intelligence Agency might seem trustworthy at first, we assure you they're not. They are experts in international espionage, not fighting erectile dysfunction. They're experts at lying and they're experts at spying. We have insider information that their pills contain tracking devices that are used to keep track of people's sexual habits. If we told you what they did with that information, we'd have to kill you.

Where Not to Buy Viagra 3: MacDonald's

Yes, even the world's leaders of fast food have started offering the service to buy Viagra online. Much like their hamburgers and fries, McViagra may seem extremely enticing, even immediately satisfying, but we assure you, they aren't good for you. With all the empty calories and additives that make you fat that are contained in the rest of their products, we're sure that McViagra will also only serve to make you bigger. But not in the way that you want.

Where Not to Buy Viagra 2: Amazon.com

The convenience of Amazon makes it seem like a logical choice, but we think that these online book barons shouldn't be trusted. Their Viagra prices seem great—that is until you see how much shipping charges you have to pay. Then you end up buying crate after crate of Viagra that you didn't plan on buying in the first place, just so you can be eligible for free shipping. Not the best place to buy Viagra online.

Where Not to Buy Viagra 1: Ebay

Why anyone would think that it would be a good idea to get into a fierce bidding war only to end up spending an outrageous price on previously-owned Viagra just because the vintage packaging is cool is beyond me. Trust us, old Viagra doesn't make a wicked collector's item, it just makes for a nasty stomach ache and a lack of erectile benefits.